the wedding revisited

Most people would say that people can forget other people, but I'm not like most people. I have a tendency to remember a lot of strange people.As I prepared to go to my cousins' wedding ( the one I went to three weeks ago ) I realized that I had packed so many things, and they were scattered around many different places. I found pairs of earnings. I even lost my cell phone or had no signal or something in that nature. Then I thought I saw him, and the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced it was him. He saw me too, and we both realized we were once again in the same place. We didn't have a conversation yet we knew we had finally made contact. He was dressed nicely, had a vest on and a pair of corduroy jeans. He looked very stylish, not unlike the young boy he used to be. Somehow I thought he would be old and fat, but he did not disappoint my expectations. I knew I had changed, and reached a dead end and realized I had not payed much attention to where I was driving. I sought a chance to speak with him, but the more time passed the less chances there were to strike up a conversation.

I'd lost my children s' clothes and feared it had been lost.

calm resolution

I am overwhelmed. The sea looks calm in the horizon. Too calm. Then I remember the tsunami warning signs. It ocean is pulling back and the worst is yet to come. And so, I glance back again and sure enough, there it is. A humongous tidal wave, of the worst kind. I don't even bother to run away from it. I brace myself for destruction, for an eminent death. Would it be slow or quick? I would soon find out. The wave crashed furiously over everything, engulfing everything in its way. I managed to swim afloat, I survived, but I feared others were not as lucky. As I recall everything happened so quickly. Ask me if there were survivors and I'll say yes, but I knew none of these people. I shared with them my survival story, and explained how I took my fate with calm resolution, and how I believed that was the reason why I lived to tell my story. If others were so lucky, but none were people I knew....

save me

I see my son by the swimming pool. As I approach him I notice his grandfather and seven year old uncle are there too. Another man stands with his chubby son by the pool. His son seems to be the bullying kind, but acts like an angel as I approach. Suddenly my son is not in sight. I sense that something is wrong and my worst fears are confirmed when I see a shadow below the water in the deep end of the pool. I asked my dad if he had seen him and he said he was there a minute ago. My son does not know how to swim. I lunged towards him, fearing the worst. I tried my best to reach him before it was too late. I woke up instantly and felt relief when I realized it was just a bad dream.

espejismos

Cuando creo que te has ido, regresas, y es que resulta que anoche soñe contigo. Ni si quiera entiendo porque sucedio. Pero resultaste esa noche, como en tantas otras noches. No te habia visto en un buen tiempo, por eso verte me parecio agradable, sobre todo cuando hace mucho que no te veo ni en foto. Eras el mismo, el de siempre. Reconozco que los años no pasaban por ti, eras el mismo niño regio y delgado que conocia. Sin duda. Habias vuelto pero comprendia que esta vez ya no era por mi, si no por el azar de la vida que nos volviamos a trompezar. Parte de mi aun se sentia como aquella muchacha joven que conociste. Esta oportunidad no era para volvernos a amar. No, esos dias ya no podian existir entre los dos. Muchas cosas habian cambiado, pero nuestro aspecto fisico se habia paralizado en el tiempo. Te hablaba como si no recordaramos las circumstancias en las que nos dejamos de hablar. Parte de ti me habia perdonado eso, y parte de mi preferia no recordarlo. Asi aprendi que estubiste trabajando en varios hoteles, fuiste gerente de una pizzeria conocida, inclusive llegaste hasta la gran manzana, pero segun me decias, no era gran cambio. Caminamos juntos, pero separados, quizas tomariamos una copa en un bar, quizas no nos volveriamos a ver cuando salieramos del edificio. Pero supe que aun estabas, y que me perdonaste por la manera en que te trate la ultima vez que conversamos. No se si hayas muerto, pero comienzo a creer que te moriste hace tiempo, te he buscado, pero en ningun lugar te encuentro. Todo indica que te trago la tierra, y por ahora la unica manera de comunicarnos es por sueños/.

this old house

We arrived at the supermarket in the suv but they were remodeling the parking lot and I parked on the grass. I saw jose walk in as he had to get a few items and Iwated for him in the car. Seems like I got restless or maybe it was the kids, so we walked into an old house that was for sale. The real estate agent sat with me and the kids on the table and we ordered from a menu. We talked aout the house and we may have considered buying it. I took a look around, I guess I liked it not because it was a beautiful house, but because it was aidferent from what we currently have, so anything different from what I'm ccostumed to see is definitely interesting even though its not. I spoke to Jose of a comment my mom had made about our son when he was younger, and although it wasn't a bad comment in any sense, my mom pulled me aside when Jose left the room to reprimand me for telling him what she had confided in me. I grew upset because I saw no harm in mentioning her comment to him, and I tried to downplay the situation, but I grew irritable and made it clear she had blown the situation out of proportion. This behavior on behave of my mome was atypical of her usual self and I excused her in reality because I acknowledged I was dreaming. I went back to the dining room table ans a girl that sat beside me had dropped the spaguetti on the floor and the heel of her stilettos dug into the laminate/wood flooring and I felt deceived by the real estate agent because we were seriously considering the house. By the time we had to pay for the check jose was gone and I saw that we had to pay 400 dollars and I refused to pull my credit card out because it was a ridiculous amount to pay for spaguetti and poor service. in fact I even believe it was home made. The chefs fee was 150 dollars, and even so I thought it was ridiculous. I wanted jose to come back to dispute the amount but then I woke up and realized it was all a bad dream.

bygones be bygones.

My aunt, she appeared to me in a dream. She was different. She looked younger, friendlier than how I recalled her last, and seemed happy and satisfied with her marriage. I asked her about her changes, she didn't admit she had a facelift, but I could tell it was so. She expressed the desire to become a mother again. Her daughter would donate her eggs and have them implated in her. She wanted to bear a child with her much younger husband. I've seen him only in photos. He's not good looking, but he's younger than her, so they make a match.
I realized we were talking about her life as we walked in a building. Somebody was waiting for me at another level in the building. We reached the cafeteria and saw that posterboards were leaning against the wall. I saw my name written on them and realized my cousins were waiting for me so I could help out with the food fair. I thought it would be interesting. In the mean time, I'm still baffled by my aunt. We're so friendly, and suddenly I realize that time has gone by.

don't forget me

I walk as fast as I can, but I can't walk fast enough. I cross the street and I know somebody is watching me.
It's dark. I enter a candy store. I’m the only one. The owner is a middle aged man and he is attentive. He is aware that I was followed and closes the store just for me. As soon as it's safe to leave, I purchase some items. I want to smoke so I ask for a pack of Marlboro lights and a lighter. I normally don’t smoke but I want to. He didn't have a lighter to sell so he gave away his own for free and he throws in his cell phone holder too. It made no sense to me why in the world he would have the need to give me that, but I take it any way. Something is better than nothing. I think.
I leave the store, and I walk. I try to catch up with the girls ahead of me but I'm sluggish. I have trouble moving my legs quickly. I try to run but I don’t run. I just feel like I’m moving in slow motion, but none the less I’m moving. I reach a warehouse. I try to rest. Boxes surround me. I have family, an aunt. She has food and I want to drink wine, beer anything to feel glad, carefree, to feel like me. I realize I'm happiest when I can be that free. I find my champagne glasses, they're from my wedding, but I don't care, I don't mind sharing them. So I pull them out of the cupboard. I search for the wine bottle, and found the bottle my sister in law gave us. I need to forget, but instead I remember not so long ago, this trip I had to an amusement park. I remember a startling thought: "this is where we said goodbye"

a note

now that i remember i had a dream about you. you held a paper in your hand. you had written me a note. i tried to read it but couldn't understand it. I was happy that you tried.
missing you.

a note

now that i remember i had a dream about you. you held a paper in your hand. you had written me a note. i tried to read it but couldn't understand it. I was happy that you tried.
missing you.

clear blue skies

I drove around and parked along the shoreline. It wasn't the best spot to park but I had no choice. It was a cloudless blue sky and the ocean looked aquamarine, almost crystal clear. It reminded my of the beaches of cancun. A man stood looking at the calm sea, we made small talk, but I feared staring at it too close. I felt that any minute a tidal wave could rise from beyond the depths of the sea and catch me. as if the sea knew my deepest fears a wave stared to form far in the horizon. I ran towards my car and climed in. I shut the door and turned on the ignition and drove far away. I knew that place, it was a resort , maybe its cancun or maybe a recollection of mental images i've captured throught my travels from different beaches. There were tall high rising hotels, colorful restaurants and many impressive buildings. The ocean looked calm, and the beaches were full of kids and families having fun. I was looking around for mine, but couldn't remember where they said they would be. I knew that I had been there before, but I had forgotten the beach and the road that would lead me there. I saw beverly going up the roller coaster, coincidentaly she lives in hawaii. Then suddenly I woke up.

huracanes

estaba en el ojo del huracan y todo era calma. el dia bello, cielo azul y paz. desde el espacio vi el huracan mas grande que hubiese existido, y se formaban tres huracanitos dentro del huracan. el tiempo corria. el cielo cambiaba de color. tenia miedo.
hable con mi amiga por telefono. yo trabajaba en un walmart, haria overtime por una hora. la manager me dijo que estaba flojo el trabajo que no trabajara y me fuera a mi casa. pero no queria irme a mi casa. le dije que ya estaba ahi y que debia aprovechar el viaje largo para estar ahi.
mi amiga me encargaba una lampara para su sala. no encontre el modelo que buscaba.

Hace tiempo que no soñaba algo claro, pero anoche me acuerdo bien de mi sueño. Viajaba en un carro con el niño este que hace tiempo no veo. Era su carro nuevo y cruzabamos el puente de boca hacia deerfield cuando otro carro que lo rebaso lo rozo y nos detuvimos. alcanze a ver las placas del carro que no se detuvo y lo seguimos. me sentia culpable.

aqui no se vive

Apareciste en mi cuarto, recargado sobre mi cama, apoyabas tu cabeza en mi almohada y me sonreias. tu no eras tu, si no otro a quien deberia conocer bien pero tengo mis dudas-- nunca se puede conocer lo suficiente a alguien. Quien sabe si eras tu?Pero estabas conmigo, me regalaste una sonrisa. Estabas desnudo, tenias un cuerpo magnifico. Dudo que no lo supieras. Por eso te acercaste mas a mi, porque ya habiamos compartido mas momentos intimos, y leias el deseo en mis ojos. Me abrazaste por la cintura y me jalaste hacia ti, y pronto nuestras piernas se entrelazaron y nos vi en el espejo del tocador. Tu aliento me recordaba a otro momento, y mi mente volo a un recuerdo parecido al nuestro, y por primera vez tuve miedo. Sabia que no eras tu, era otro rostro muy parecido al tuyo, lo reconoci, y aunque paso el tiempo, mi corazon aun latia por el, y el lo sabia. El reflejo del espejo mostro la realidad que ya no me conviene ni se me olvida.

un vistazo al paraiso

Soñe el mar celeste, agua clara, y una casa a la orilla de este paraiso. No le temi al mar sereno. Di la vuelta, mis pies se undian en la arena y el agua cubria mis pies. Me ubicaba en una playa y no era la unica que sabia de este eden. Mas familias recurrian a estas aguas, y yo ahi tenia una casa.